Thursday, February 12, 2015

50 SHADES OF WHY YOU ARE A WHINY AND USELESS TURD

50. You hit the snooze button YESSSSSSSSSS.
49. You named your son Aiden YESSSSSSSSSS.
48. You named your son Caden YESSSSSSSSSS.
47. You stopped carrying cash with you YESSSSSSSSSS.
46. Your a man that orders a feminine coffee at Starbucks YESSSSSSSSSS. 
45. You sit on the subway YESSSSSSSSSS.
44. You rather drive a smart car then walk LOL YESSSSSSSSSS.
43. Planet Fitness is a waste of money YESSSSSSSSSS.
42. A whole wheat doughnut is not a health food YESSSSSSSSSS.
41. Organic cookies are still fuckin cookies YESSSSSSSSSS.
40. Pictures of cats and dogs is not considered reading YESSSSSSSSSS.
39. You have not read a book in months or even years YESSSSSSSSSS.
38. Reading my Vigorousity is not enough slackers YESSSSSSSSSS.
37. You can't cook. This goes for both men and women YESSSSSSSSSS.
36. You watch Dr. Oz YESSSSSSSSSS.
35. You watch anything with the words REAL and or WIVES in the title YESSSSSSSSSS.
34. All you do is cardio in the gym YESSSSSSSSSS.
33. You believe all the bullshit you see on social media YESSSSSSSSSS. 
32. You thank god it's Friday YESSSSSSSSSS.
31. You hate Mondays YESSSSSSSSSS.
30. You always say "It is what it is" YESSSSSSSSSS.
29. You are not special, you are not the center of the universe, you are just plain old you YESSSSSSSSSS.
28. You are a man more worried about leaving your I-Phone home instead of your BALLS YESSSSSSSSSS. 
27. You own an I-phone YESSSSSSSSSS.
26. You do not believe that violence is necessary in life YESSSSSSSSSS. 
25. You call a hero a hoagie YESSSSSSSSSS. 
24. You have never seen The Warriors YESSSSSSSSSS.
23. You don't express how you feel because you are afraid to hurt feelings YESSSSSSSSSS.
22. You can't out train shitty eating habits YESSSSSSSSSS.
21. The Tampon is not mightier then the sword YESSSSSSSSSS.
20. You play the BLAME GAME all the time YESSSSSSSSSS.
19. You pander and act feminine to curry favor to women because you are too much of a pussy to act like a man YESSSSSSSSSS.
18. You think all men are jerks and with this logic you will die alone with 100 cats eating your corpse YESSSSSSSSSS.
17. You think all women are crazy and you will die alone jerking off to Brazilian Fart Pornos YESSSSSSSSSS. 
16. You use the terms "real", "real talk" or any drivel some so called famous person hypnotized you into regurgitating back at the people YESSSSSSSSSS. 
15. You believe Hollywood and anyone involved is not all fake and premeditated YESSSSSSSSSS. 
14. You are a man that does not train to make one stronger YESSSSSSSSSS.
13 You Crossfit YESSSSSSSSSS.
12. You do not know who Archie Bunker is YESSSSSSSSSS.
11. You think that bullying is a bad thing YESSSSSSSSSS.
10. You are not old, you are weak and you do nothing to unfuck this fact YESSSSSSSSSS.
9. You are a Yankee fan YESSSSSSSSSS.
8. You are a miserable fuck of a human being and does not realize it's your fault you are that way YESSSSSSSSSS. 
7. You think the world owes you something YESSSSSSSSSS.
6. You walk around looking for hand outs YESSSSSSSSSS.
5. You think the world is unfair and you are right so now you can't use it as an excuse YESSSSSSSSSS. 
4. You are a lazy, useless, waste of life and knows they haves issues and still will not make an effort to unfuck them YESSSSSSSSSS.
3. You live your life looking to get offended, pissed off and angry YESSSSSSSSSS.
2. You will not hold yourself accountable for all the bullshit in your life you dropped on yourself. Not anyone else YOU YES YOU who read this whole dam list YESSSSSSSSSS.
1. You are a 100% useless whining waste of life and you should just end it all or rise up and GET VIGOROUS YESSSSSSSSSS.